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A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone.
Author: Craig Kilborn.

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Of course there’s a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don’t take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.
Author: A. Lawrence Lowell.

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Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course.

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To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States.
Author: George W. Bush.

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Definition of a College professor: someone who talks in other people’s sleep.
Author: W. H. Auden.

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Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.
Author: Bob Dylan.

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I noticed that almost everyone I went to college with has worked at something other than the subject they majored in. I guess that’s one of the reasons for campus unrest.
Author: Kent McCord.

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80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read.

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You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think.
Author: Elbert Hubbard.

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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy.
Author: Woody Allen.

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